Sabotaging the Good

In my Celebrate Recovery group, we talked a lot about how working through our issues is like peeling an onion. You peel away one layer and there’s another underneath it to work through. I know that this self-doubt I have that causes my lack of trust is a very big layer for me. I wasn’tContinue reading “Sabotaging the Good”

Quick Update

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. In all honesty, things have been really hard and really good. I finished my twelve step study at my church’s Celebrate Recovery program. It took over a year and is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through, but I learned a lot about myselfContinue reading “Quick Update”

Letting Go

In just one week, I will have been divorced for a year. It’s been an exceptionally hard year and a really great one. I don’t know how both those statements can be true, but they are.  I’ve had to let go of so much this past year- my desire to keep my family intact, theContinue reading “Letting Go”

Ordinary vs Extraordinary

I’ve said on here before that I wasn’t looking for an ordinary life. I didn’t want what everyone else had, I wanted what God desired for me. That extraordinary life that is meant for me, with joy and peace and true love. The life that God desires for us all but can only be foundContinue reading “Ordinary vs Extraordinary”

The Value of Friendship

I lost friends when my husband had an affair. I lose a few more when I divorced him. The pain of losing people I thought would be my support, hurt nearly as bad as the pain of my husband’s betrayal. I was angry and hurt by them pulling away when I needed them most. IContinue reading “The Value of Friendship”

Free Love for All

I think there’s a misconception about love. I feel that people often think it needs to be earned or won. My ex has told me that he has never felt good enough for me; he has never felt worthy of my love. He has never felt like he had earned it. I think that’s becauseContinue reading “Free Love for All”

More on Lament

People love to give advice, especially to those who are hurting. We’ve all heard it, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and keep going; just start a new chapter in life; keep moving forward; and my favorite, don’t live life with regrets. But is this Biblical? Is just moving on and forgetting what we areContinue reading “More on Lament”

So many lies

Infidelity trauma is real. Emotional abuse trauma is real. The insecurity, pain, and anxiety that comes from being manipulated, used, and controlled is real. Being gaslighted makes you think you’re crazy and the constant lies make you second guess everything you know is truth. This is trauma and trauma can cause PTSD. The triggers, nightmares,Continue reading “So many lies”