joy – The Silent Abuse

Joy Comes in the Morning

In just two days, my youngest will graduate high school. I don’t know how he went from my baby to a young man so fast. I keep joking that I’m not okay, but it’s true. I am not okay. These past few weeks have been very emotionally draining. There were so many lasts- the lastContinue reading “Joy Comes in the Morning”

I’m Not Okay

Yesterday I got to hear my youngest son play in the District Honors Band. This is his senior year, so it seems like everything he does is the last time. One of the songs was so moving, it had me in tears. Sitting there alone, yet surrounded by so many people, I nearly started sobbing. IContinue reading “I’m Not Okay”

Rest

In my quest for joy, I have discovered how much I long to just rest. I don’t mean that I need a nap or some deep breathing; I need emotional rest. I need the ability to just let go and have someone else be in charge. I am just so tired of always having toContinue reading “Rest”

Sabotaging the Good

In my Celebrate Recovery group, we talked a lot about how working through our issues is like peeling an onion. You peel away one layer and there’s another underneath it to work through. I know that this self-doubt I have that causes my lack of trust is a very big layer for me. I wasn’tContinue reading “Sabotaging the Good”

My Plan vs Reality

I’ve been really struggling the past few days. I know I lost a lot with my ex-husband’s affair and our divorce, but I’m usually really good about focusing on the future and the possibilities that lie ahead. I had a reminder this weekend that sometimes our losses are far greater than we initially realize. SomeContinue reading “My Plan vs Reality”

Self-Deception

My intuition has always played a huge role in my decision making and my trust in others. After my ex-husband’s affair, I no longer trusted my intuition. I no longer trusted myself. The years of gaslighting and lies he put me through had me confused and no longer trusting what I knew to be truth.Continue reading “Self-Deception”

Ordinary vs Extraordinary

I’ve said on here before that I wasn’t looking for an ordinary life. I didn’t want what everyone else had, I wanted what God desired for me. That extraordinary life that is meant for me, with joy and peace and true love. The life that God desires for us all but can only be foundContinue reading “Ordinary vs Extraordinary”