In just two days, my youngest will graduate high school. I don’t know how he went from my baby to a young man so fast. I keep joking that I’m not okay, but it’s true. I am not okay. These past few weeks have been very emotionally draining. There were so many lasts- the lastContinue reading “Joy Comes in the Morning”
Category Archives: infidelity
I’m Not Okay
Yesterday I got to hear my youngest son play in the District Honors Band. This is his senior year, so it seems like everything he does is the last time. One of the songs was so moving, it had me in tears. Sitting there alone, yet surrounded by so many people, I nearly started sobbing. IContinue reading “I’m Not Okay”
Thanksgiving
I began my journey of attempting to be more grateful during the middle of my Celebrate Recovery step study about a year ago. Whenever I begin to feel down about what I’ve lost, missed out on, or never had, I just think of my small group leader reminding me to turn to my Gratitude List. Continue reading “Thanksgiving”
Sabotaging the Good
In my Celebrate Recovery group, we talked a lot about how working through our issues is like peeling an onion. You peel away one layer and there’s another underneath it to work through. I know that this self-doubt I have that causes my lack of trust is a very big layer for me. I wasn’tContinue reading “Sabotaging the Good”
Too Broken?
So, what did my last post have to do with my inability to trust? It definitely was not an attempt to bash my ex, just explain my thought process. As I’ve said before, I did my fair share of wrongs to cause problems in the marriage. No one is perfect. I also did more thanContinue reading “Too Broken?”
Too Much or Too Little?
I want to talk about a topic that is often only used to describe the actions of women. I want to discuss withholding, a term used mainly to describe women using sex as manipulation in a relationship. But I want to discuss what I feel is the much bigger issue of withholding. The emotional withholdingContinue reading “Too Much or Too Little?”
To Trust or Not?
I’ve made a lot of progress over the past two years. I’ve managed to release a lot of my triggers, regained the self-confidence that was sucked out of me, and learned to set boundaries with my ex and others. I’ve also learned that I don’t care much for superficial, fake friendships. The friends I lost whenContinue reading “To Trust or Not?”
My Plan vs Reality
I’ve been really struggling the past few days. I know I lost a lot with my ex-husband’s affair and our divorce, but I’m usually really good about focusing on the future and the possibilities that lie ahead. I had a reminder this weekend that sometimes our losses are far greater than we initially realize. SomeContinue reading “My Plan vs Reality”
Quick Update
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. In all honesty, things have been really hard and really good. I finished my twelve step study at my church’s Celebrate Recovery program. It took over a year and is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through, but I learned a lot about myselfContinue reading “Quick Update”
Self-Deception
My intuition has always played a huge role in my decision making and my trust in others. After my ex-husband’s affair, I no longer trusted my intuition. I no longer trusted myself. The years of gaslighting and lies he put me through had me confused and no longer trusting what I knew to be truth.Continue reading “Self-Deception”
The Silent Abuse 