I’ve said on here before that I wasn’t looking for an ordinary life. I didn’t want what everyone else had, I wanted what God desired for me. That extraordinary life that is meant for me, with joy and peace and true love. The life that God desires for us all but can only be found by truly following Him.
So many people settle for less than what they could have. I think most of the world settles for less because it’s what they’re told is “normal.” Normal- that is such a scary word and what so many people desire. A normal life, a normal marriage, normal kids, normal house, normal job. We get depressed when things get out of “normal” because now our life is not as good as our neighbors. We are all so intent on having the same life as everyone else, we have forgotten we are called to be extraordinary.
I look back on my twenty-three-year marriage and I wonder that if he hadn’t cheated, would I still have divorced him? I was unhappy before he cheated. He was so intent on living that desired normal, ordinary life. He was focused on things, money, attention, status, and how his family looked. I remember telling him once that he didn’t want a family for love and support, he wanted them so he could say, “look at my beautiful family.” We all needed to be perfect, so his life could look normal, like everyone else makes their life look.
I was thinking of divorce in the months before his affair. We were just not on the same page as to what’s important in life. We no longer held the same values or ideals. My marriage felt loveless and unimportant to him. It was no longer about me and him, it was about how others viewed it. How I felt no longer mattered, as long as we looked good on the outside.
He once told me that he felt like as long as we did better than his parents, who divorced when he was young, then we were doing good. No goal other than good. My parents had so much more than that, I couldn’t settle for his idea of good.
In fact, I hated good; I hated ordinary. I wanted great, amazing, extraordinary. I wasn’t asking for perfect, there’s no such thing, but I was asking for more than what it seems so many people settle for. I wanted intimacy and connection in a world filled with shallowness, busyness, and disengagement. I wanted my safe place in this chaotic world. Love has been replaced with sex and porn. Family has been replaced with sports, work, and even church. Intimate connection seems to not even exist in couples anymore because no one has time for it. No one has time to grow and learn about what their family needs, or even what they themselves need. We’re all just too busy being ordinary.
But we’re not made ordinary. That’s why life seems to have no joy and it’s just a daily grind that never ends. We are special, we are unique. We are living in a world that tells us we all have to be the same and we don’t! We are allowed to be different, to want different things, to look at the world differently, to live a life unlike anyone else’s life. God did not create us to be ordinary; He created us to be extraordinary.
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a dedicated nation, [God’s] own purchased, special people, that you may set forth the wonderful deeds and display the virtues and perfections of Him Who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” – 1 Peter 2:9 AMP
We were created to worship Him, to glorify Him, and example Him to others. We were created for His purposes, not our own. We don’t belong to this ordinary world; we belong to an extraordinary God. This doesn’t mean we won’t have ordinary choices to make, but it does mean we need to face each choice we have with the idea of it having extraordinary value.
“God often calls us to do ordinary things everyday which we should never relegate to insignificance. For example, Moses was called to shepherd a flock and serve his family; an ordinary calling which carries extreme importance. But then God called him to an extraordinary life of shepherding an entire nation. The implication is profound: We should be careful to never replace the extraordinary for the ordinary!” (Munson 2009)
It’s okay if your life looks different than what others think it should. It’s okay if you don’t follow the standard of what is considered acceptable and good in today’s world. It’s okay if people look down on you or make fun of you for not living like them. It’s okay if they talk about you.
A couple months ago, a good friend sent me this:
Follow your heart and follow God. Be who He created you to be, not who others say you should be. Go ahead and live your extraordinary life and don’t worry about the ordinary world!
Munson, S. (2009) Be Loyal—Be Mature. Bicentennial Chapel, Fort Gordon.